“Do we always stand like that?” I asked him as he swayed with his arms behind his head like he was in a universal hammock questioning the stars. The bluest eyes tilted back as the definitive dream of a silver fox smiled at me. “Sometimes.” He said. And it was over. It wasn’t he or me, but the cosmos that interrupted normal reality. Invoked by his crystalline eyes. I lost track of all breathing as my body completely disappeared.
I don’t remember finding the floor. I couldn’t stop jolting as I turned into an animal and snaked my way around his body, my head tilting into his orbit over and over again as I spiraled and smiled and lost the concept of being human. My body kept reacting in delicious wakes of energy coursing their way through me like the muscle spasms you get before sleeping, but I was very much awake. Sleeping and Waking became this dream of dreams and I couldn’t distinguish which was which, nor did I want to.
I couldn’t smell him or taste him, an unusual way for me to experience an encounter like this. My consciousness continued to interlace itself so profusely to his that the senses took a hiatus in the ether of the room around us. The windows above us began to drip. I was aware of each of us sweating as the heat from our bodies poured out in the irresistible elixir only skin on skin can create. I kissed his body, he kissed mine and I continued to be aware of sounds I seemed to utter, but couldn’t hear. Breathing in my chest that wasn’t mine.
Acid aches to be this heavenly.
We were wet. Both of us and in each other’s skin. Beckoning through deep reverence for the experience we couldn’t predict to be this kind of surprise. Forever and eternity are just words and there were no words spoken. Breathing, Panting, Aching from my throat. I couldn’t hear what was coming from me, but the vibration in my body told me I was crying. He picked me up and held me above the ground, swaying me like a child. We were still fully clothed and wet from perspiration, desire and tears.
I do not know how long it was before I finally reached my hands beneath his shirt and peeled it off of his body. His body cool to the touch from the air that finally touched his chest. I laid my head in his lap and breathed him in from his groin all the way up to his mouth. The most delicate kiss fell between our lips like a singular cherry blossom petal grazing the surface of a glass pond. Our eyes opened. One word, “Uh-Oh.” As if we weren’t fucked already.
Nuzzling animal kisses. Petting. Breathing. There was no longing as emotions cycled through us and we allowed them to come and go. Has a year passed now? Are the windows still dripping? Where did the room go? Who are you, I’ve forgotten your name?
He began pulling down my silk bodice, starting with my sleeves. The moment where breasts breach the edges of a garment is my favorite and we stayed there. No words. Your turn? My turn? He touched my chest and pulled exposing each of my nipples one by one. I melted into his chest and my head felt so heavy like I had been released from the world of standing and would never ‘have to’ again. The universal hammock held us both there and we rocked back and forth, back and forth. How long have we been here? Back and forth. I don’t care. Back and forth. Would you touch me forever? Back and forth. I understand.
I understand.
I understand.
Time was up. To remove ourselves from each other’s orbit required a pull akin to the way taffy is stretched, so far apart but still holding together. The radical giggles of glee shook us back to the world of matter and awe struck we were approached by a couple playing on the bed beside us. The woman smelled me, “You smell like DMT.” Her partner for the evening came next, “You’re right, they do smell like DMT.” I turned to my silver fox and my words came back online.
“How many times have you done DMT?”
“Twice.”
“Well, now you can say it’s three times.” I leaned into him once more.
Upon our parting I asked him to describe his experience. “Holy” he said and I kept from weeping as my heart felt the same. That aching pain of grief from knowing something else and having no words to describe it. Two Ex-Mormons experiencing the actual divinity of the body and never even exposing our genitals. Energy fucking man…you should try it sometimes.
When he left. I smelled his hair.
It smelled like coconut.
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